Eulogies

Eulogy for Mum - Roger

Good afternoon everyone.

For those I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Roger Davison. Welcome to this celebration of my mum’s life of 91 years. Of course for many of us this is also a very sad occasion as we farewell her from our lives though she’ll remain in our hearts for ever.

Thank you for coming to share this precious time with our family. I’d also like to specifically acknowledge those who are participating with us online via the streaming service or watching the recording later.

Shirley (Shirlee) Dawn Davison’s passing marks the end era as she was the sole surviving member of her generation of Adams siblings and their partners.

My mum was born and raised on a property near Gunnedah. The youngest of seven, Shirlee grew up with her siblings Robert (Bob), Stuart, Lance, May, and Ivy. Their brother, Evan, died in infancy. After her father retired, she accompanied her parents on long caravan trips to North Queensland to escape the harsh winters of the Northern Tablelands. It was in Cairns where mum met my dad, Harry and where, after their wedding in Gunnedah, they began their family.

Around 7 years later we moved 100km south to the bulk sugar port of Mourilyan Harbour – a tiny settlement of just 8 families. Mum became an active member of the Innisfail Methodist Church community and the local Choral Society. Both these communities provided enormously strong and supportive friendships for mum.

Mum and Dad’s passion for choral singing was a hallmark of our time in Innisfail. The Choral Society’s two major annual events were a North Queensland Eisteddfod held each Easter and the staging of a musical theatre show. Weekly choir rehearsals gave Mum a few hours break from us kids and a chance for quality adult time with good friends. My recollection was that Mum’s back stage expertise in makeup was highly sought after and valued. Shows  were performed over multiple weekends and included travelling to the neighbouring country towns. These musical theatre shows were a family affair. In particular, Karyl and Lerae became willing and extremely effective souvenir programmes sales volunteers (it’s hard to say no to two little blonde girls.)

Mum was an extremely versatile and determined person. She was an amazing cook and was universally known for her sponges and pavlovas. I remember when mum offered to help out with baking for a school fund raiser. She offered to prepare cakes and slices on behalf of other school mums provided they purchase and deliver the ingredients to her. Quite a few took her up on her generous offer until the ingredients started to arrive. Some of the parents who accepted mum’s offer thought that purchasing and delivering a box of cake mix would be adequate compensation. Mum was mortified. She would never be happy with cake mix cakes!!

In 1973, Dad’s promotion within CSR gave Mum the treasured opportunity to return to her home state where most of her siblings plus her extended family were living. Mum’s passion for music had multiple new opportunities including West Epping Uniting Church choir, annual performances of Handel’s Messiah at Sydney Town Hall and the ladies' community choir, Mirrabooka Singers.

Mum also took up Porcelain Painting Art whilst in Sydney. She perfected and practiced this amazing talent, getting very close to qualifying as a teacher, until the sudden and devastating loss of vision a few years ago. Here is an example of her stunningly beautiful creations.

On retirement, Mum and Dad rediscovered their passion for the cool and tranquil surroundings of Bowen Mountain, situated right on the edge of the Lower Blue Mountains escarpment. Their home that Mum loved enormously, had extensive views towards and the city beyond, with space for grandchildren to visit and enjoy and plenty of space for her to create a beautiful garden. This change of scenery provided Mum with opportunities for bush walking and bird watching. The scenery and her extensive and colourful garden she nurtured all became the subjects for Mum’s art.

Downsizing and the continual threat of summer bushfires were both catalysts for a decision to relocate to a villa at Glengarra Retirement Village here in Tumbi Umbi. Mum was again surrounded by beautiful gardens that were now maintained by the village gardeners (with some gentle direction from her). She also delighted in the village’s surroundings and the luxurious facilities. The closeness to the beach and lake foreshore plus the proximity to old friends added to the appeal of her new home.

Mum knew that I really enjoyed rich dark fruit cake preserved with rum (lots of rum 😊). It’s a treat that I consume very sparingly. Mum’s fruit cake generally takes me more than six months to finish. At boarding school I’d receive a fruit cake in the post at the beginning of every term. This was Mum’s way of helping me stay connected with home. Even with the loss of her eyesight Mum, was still baking and gifting me with a Christmas fruit cake right up until this last Christmas when she apologised saying that this would most likely be her last.

Mum always maintained a strong interest in national and world affairs, politics and history. She also took on the challenge of understanding and using technology to keep in touch with family and friends and as her eyesight failed, using the latest devices to help with reading and communicating. Unfortunately, and not for want of persistence on mum’s part, “Hey Google” commands would often go unheeded as these devices regularly failed to recognise her very polite, softly spoken requests.

We recently celebrated Mum’s 90^th birthday at a mega family weekend gathering in the Hunter Valley. She relished the chance to have the entire family entourage of 29 around her. She spent lots of quality time over those two days taking the opportunity to catch up. Sadly, it was to be her last opportunity to have all of her 12 great grandchildren gathered around her at the same time.

Love Roger

Eulogy to Mum - Karyl

Many years ago, I stitched this poem for Mum. Most of you will know Shirlee as a very proper and gentle woman but she also had a bit of a wicked streak.

Now I need to say that mum never learnt to spit and I don’t recall her ever pressing alarm bells, but she did slip the occasional teaspoon into her handbag and when she was doing the flowers at West Epping, she did go out and take flowers from other people’s gardens at night. She would also take a wander around houses being built before they were at lockup stage and comment on the layout. Of course, these things caused her children great embarrassment but now we remember them with benevolent amusement.

Mum lived much of her life with a sense that she was inadequate. This was because she was taken out of school at 14 when her mother’s health had deteriorated and she was required to take over the housekeeping, cooking and gardening in the family homestead. Mum’s father ran a sheep & wheat property - it was the beginning of her catering ‘career’ because at shearing time, she would also be the shearer’s cook. In Mum’s own words, “it was a rude shock, particularly keeping to a timetable getting the hot meals to the working men in the middle of the day. I loved my Mum but remember having my rebellious teenage moments” during that time. 

Despite or maybe because of that feeling of ignorance, Mum set about learning as much as she could for the rest of her life. She kept up with current events, and showed a down to earth wisdom that surprised and delighted me. Eg UCA discussions about allowing LGBTIQA people into ministry.

Mum's greatest joy was her family. In her last days she delighted in visits from various family members - and we shared lots of good memories, much to the delight of her grandchildren who learned a few things about their parents.  

Mum also loved flowers: growing them, arranging them, and painting them, and none were surprised to find that when arranging her own funeral she chose to have the largest arrangement possible to rest on her coffin.  

Mum had the gift of hospitality and everything was 'just so.'  Always delicious food, cakes and slices, (and plenty of it) the tablecloth, silver, fine china & crystal etc. 

Roger has touched on mum’s cooking. Mum was an amazing and imaginative cook – I will never forget school sandwich fillings – jam and sultanas, peanut butter and bacon, egg with tomato sauce and herbs. We loved her ‘favourite things,’ gramma pie, sponge cake and her speciality-pavlova for celebrations topped with fresh passionfruit or berries and cream. 

Mum didn’t just cook for family – she catered for groups, large and small, in every church she and Dad were involved in. Who can forget the mammoth lamington drives at Innisfail or the Parish dinners in Roselea Community Centre? This was a skill she passed on to me which has been well used.

And so, what more apt text from the scriptures to use than the story of Jesus feeding the multitude. So important was this story to the first Christians that it is included more times than any other in the gospels.

Mark 6:30-44 

30 The apostles returned to Jesus and told him everything they had done and taught. 31 Many people were coming and going, so there was no time to eat. He said to the apostles, “Come by yourselves to a secluded place and rest for a while.” 32 They departed in a boat by themselves for a deserted place.

33 Many people saw them leaving and recognized them, so they ran ahead from all the cities and arrived before them. 34 When Jesus arrived and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Then he began to teach them many things.

35 Late in the day, his disciples came to him and said, “This is an isolated place, and it’s already late in the day. 36 Send them away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy something to eat for themselves.”

37 He replied, “You give them something to eat.”

But they said to him, “Should we go off and buy bread worth almost eight months’ pay and give it to them to eat?”

38 He said to them, “How much bread do you have? Take a look.”

After checking, they said, “Five loaves of bread and two fish.”

39 He directed the disciples to seat all the people in groups as though they were having a banquet on the green grass. 40 They sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. 41 He took the five loaves and the two fish, looked up to heaven, blessed them, broke the loaves into pieces, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. 42 Everyone ate until they were full. 43 They filled twelve baskets with the leftover pieces of bread and fish. 44 About five thousand men, plus women and children, had eaten.

Love Karyl

Eulogy for Mum - Lerae

Mum was a beautiful, compassionate, loving and caring lady and was loved by all that knew her.

Mum was a very capable and independent woman who took charge when she needed to. But when it came to accidents and injuries she would hold it together until somebody else was there to take control, then she would faint. We soon learnt to keep mum away from accidents or make sure she was somewhere safe for her to faint.

Mum wanted to be there to support us when we sick and always felt guilty when she couldn’t be with me when I was struck with depression, because Dad had just had major heart bypass surgery and she had to stay and look after him. It didn’t matter that I kept telling her that it was OK because I had people supporting me but she still felt she had let me down.

When Jason was 8 or 9 mths old I went back to work and Mum looked after Jason 2 days a week. A few months later Jason and I moved back in with Mum & Dad to enable me to work fulltime and work overtime 2 nights a weeks, so I could save for a deposit for a house. Mum was an incredible Nan to Jase and enormous support to me and would have everything ready so could just spend time with Jase when I got home from work. 

We moved into our own house when Jase was 4yrs old. As a consequence, Mum and Jase had a very special bond till the end. 

Mum loved all her grandchildren, and later her great-grandchildren, and would spend as much quality time with them as she could, always interested in what they were doing.

There were many pet cats and dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs and white mice over the years. When Mum’s last cat Kika died, she started feeding a number of Butcher birds that would come and visit her back garden. They’d sit on the window sill and would sing or tap the window to let her know they were there, then she would feed them prime mince. I’m  pretty sure that my love of animals came from her and it continues to be passed on down the generations.

Mum had a bleed in the back of one of her eyes 25 yrs ago which resulted in the partial loss of sight in that eye.  But she continued to function without too much trouble but as result of loss of sight, Mum lost confidence in her porcelain painting ability. We encouraged her to keep painting even if it was just for herself. She did that, but when years later she had the major bleed in her second eye that put an end to her beautiful china painting.  Even with treatment she lost the majority of sight in that eye and eventually all of her sight.

It was amazing how well Mum coped with the loss of her sight.  She continued to cook simple meals and soups and generally functioned very well in her own home. She knew where everything was, and heaven help you if you put something back in the wrong place which was totally understandable.

I would load her Samsung tablet with audio books through BorrowBox and she was able to listen to them when she wanted.

We were able to help mum to operate her appliances by putting Velcro spots in the essential places and Roger set up Google Nest so mum could ring people, find out the time and date, and turn bedside light on and off,

When I came and spent time with Mum we would usually go through her clothes and colour coordinate them so she was always looking smart. 

Mum still ironed her pillowcases and tea towels.

There were many people who made it possible for Mum to stay in her own home – something she, and we valued enormously.  The Glengarra community have a phone buddy system and someone would ring her every morning to catch up with her and check she was ok - she looked forward to these phone calls.

She received amazing care and support from friends at Glengarra especially Liz and John Tulip and Marlene and John Kidman and I’m very thankful to them for keeping an eye on Mum and taking her to events and for their friendship. It took a load off my mind knowing that she had friends close by that she could call on if she needed anything.

Mum was an incredibly independent, perhaps just a touch stubborn woman. She loved living on our own but had many falls.  It is a miracle that she didn’t break any bones, but had many amazing bruises. Nobody knows how many falls she actually had because she wouldn’t tell anybody unless she had to own up to it. She learned how to get herself up off the floor and would rest a while and get on with her day.

Carers who came in to help Mum became good friends and I was lucky enough to get to know them too, meeting them when I came and stayed with mum and through her phone calls.

Of special note are Natalie, Tineka, David, but there were many others who cared for Mum with much love and respect.

James her cleaner thought of her as another Grandma and he often did other little jobs for her when asked.

Thanks also to Trisha physio who visited weekly.

David her Dentist

Dr Quinten Williamse her longtime GP

Dr Arora Eye Specialist 

who all treated her with great care.

I want to finish with a funny story.  We are a family with lots of food intolerance which mum had quite a bit of trouble dealing with.   A few years ago, after having quite a bit of tummy trouble, her medical team suggested that she cut out Gluten from her diet and surprise, surprise, Mum was Gluten intolerant.  

Her symptoms went away and we were all greatly amused, including her. 

Mum you were the best Mum ever and my dearest friend and I’m so very proud of you.

You have left this earth, but you will live in my heart forever.  I love you mum.

Lerae.